Scripture:
Psalm 142: 7 "Bring my soul out of prison, So that I may give thanks to your name; The righteous will surround me, For You will deal bountifully with me."
Observation:
I feel like I am of my own prisoner. Like today and any other given day, I listen to Christian radio station in the car and at work. But when I face in a discussion environment, where group of people are speaking here and there, good of people and bad mouthing people, I get sucked into that as well. Is that right thing? I feel like I am stuck as to pleasing my friends and wanting to keep the balance of God in my life.
Also, with family ordeals, my parents has struggle through enough, last year alone they have lost $600K in business and etc, because their business relationship with so called "aunts" got tarnished. The share of the business was never equally distributed, also to recover from there they had made choices which were not wise. I continue to feed myself and my family does openly talk that we are not in control, if so called "aunts" moralize money and bring the discomfort within family, I know the ultimate punishment will be given.
However, though I think that I know that, I guess I want a instant effect, and when that does not happen as I like, my faith that the situation will get any better fades. I know deep down all things happen, because God has plan for better, but when I see so much struggle, and pain it wonders how long do we need to go on like this? Why can't the bad be punished? Why do I need to see that bad are doing so well yet the sufferings continue to suffer. This case is not only with my family but in general. Sometime I do wonder, if this is the righteous way he want me and my family to live and go forth?
Application:
Believe in what I feel and know. God is in control, he knows today and tomorrow. The suffering and pain are so small, it is not worth pondering. God bless abundantly in so many ways to the faithful servant. He will spit out the ones who portray faithful servant but does not act as one. Beside all the struggle and doubts and concern, I will need lay those to rest, as they are something else manipulating with my mind. But truly believe 100% of what I feel and sense. All the current rewards can be taken away at a snap of finger. Let my heart or mind be poisoned with this after thoughts. But just believe what I know already and feel already. Life not about wealth but it much more rewarding when life is fill with God's righteousness.
Prayer:
Father, almighty great God, thank you for your words today. Thank you for providing me the right words of your wisdom at the time when I need. You seem to bring to words of encouragement that apply to my struggle. Father you are such a great God, God of healing and love. Father thank you for continue to stir my heart and mold my heart to be clean. To be a faithful servant, to understand how to be faithful servant. Lord my mind and heart is partially poison, I doubt and I worry, but Father I know you have everything under control, everything and anything that happens is for your ultimate plan and your will. Father help me so that I may not lose my focus of walking closer to you, and I may listen to you and your words, I may listen to my heart and let the struggles be a breeze on my shoulder that I can dust if off. Father God, thank you so much for loving me and my family unconditionally regardless of what we might think of you at times. But Lord, you have chosen us for a purpose, so Father God, help and guide us to lead in the direction you have plan for us, so that everything in this world we do may bring so much glory in your kingdom. Amen!
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