Scripture:
2 Corinthians 11: 13 - 15 "For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will be according to their deeds."
Observation:
WOW, where do I start. Even just my experience today, makes me wonder if I am fonny Christian. If many of us live in disguise? We let our comfort effect us before our heart. We plan today and tomorrow. We plan so that we may not fail, but really do we let God control our faith? Many of us think we plan our own destiny and we don't let God take control. Yet we share gospel and words of God. How is that really trusting God and his plan for us tomorrow. I could die after I write this blog or on my way drive home. When I reach that gate to enter his house, how would we answer to his questions? What have you done in the flesh which God has given? We cannot be so called seasonal Christian, Christian when I want to be because I and much for confident and comfortable about today then yesterday.
I wonder, what my answer to him will be, all I can imagine is cry and whip in his feet. Will be just overwhelmed to be even be in presence of him. Honestly, I don't think I deserve to be where I am, and would ask for forgiveness. Thank him for his everlasting love onto me.
But, today after long patience, I couldn't handle the frustration and the harassment that I had step into the same dark hole like the harasser. I intention was to put some sense that we can end it. As the discussion got heated, and with my minimal exchange of txt between us, I tried to think if God would approved of what I am writing and responding. But I might have my emotions take priority in the participation versus thinking WWJD? Though I tried to be polite and politically correct, the txt I was receiving did not help. Continue to pull me into non God center responses. Is this satan stirring and knowing my struggle and weakness work against God?
I been writing in my Life Journal how I should thank the Lord for the many blessings he has given and gifts he provided. I should live in the direction which God has planned for me. Today has set me 20 footstep back from where I was working towards.
Its disappointing and upsetting day knowing I have just been hypocrite to my own statements for past few weeks. I am frustrated and angry at myself for allowing myself to stoop that low. Even though the righteous path guided was visible to me by God, I have let my emotions take over me.
Application:
I know God know me inside and out, more then anyone else. He loves me continuously despite my mistakes and set backs. But the the scripture is haunting me, am I really living the God orientated life? Speak of God gloriously and think of him everyday and let God be my priority in my life? Or have I become of those lukewarm Christan who speak when I feel comfortable.
I need to recenter my heart and focus where God want me to go. Stop fearing how I would be judge and hesitant of God will think. If I have heart and desire to do his will, then it is coming from him, he will be my biggest fan. He will be aside me through the steps.
I need to work to mold my heart and listen to God's calling. Need to accept that God has forgiven me for my sins, he wants me to blossom rather than being timid of growing. Stop being false Christian or be a luck warm Christian as such does not exist. Give my heart to God and rest my life in his hand. Not let the World or anyone control my destiny but let God control my destiny, as it will be humbling journey.
Prayer:
Oh Father, hear my cries. My cries of anger and frustration. Thank you for listening and touching my heart to heal. There are so many negativity in this world, Father through this negative help me that I would not lose my focus. My heart and mind will still walk in the direction in God center path. We are tempted as you have seen, and we fall into that temptation but Father I ask for your forgiveness for mistakes and you will help me pull from the dark pit and bring me back to light.
Blessed Father, thank you for continuously pouring love onto me and my family. Through all the family feud and struggles financially still we have been so blessed and thank you for your protection. You have kept our heart true, and please continue to heal our families heart and be able to forgive and love the one who have betrayed us.
Thank you Father for your amazing grace and love, through the darkness of life, you always had a lamp to lead me to the light. You sacrifice your one and only son to wash my sins, Lord help me to keep myself clean and pure. Though I still struggle through, if it is your deeds and lesson help me to stay focus and accomplish successfully. I leave in your hand that you will lead me to righteous path.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for today, despite the my mistakes. Thank you for your pouring love. Thank you for loving me and continue to love me and my family, as we are children of God, deliver us from the evil and lead us not into temptation, in your name I pray Amen!
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