Scripture:
Romans 3:24-25 being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed.
Observation:
In so many stories in Bible, it is clear that we are sinner, we are never a perfect being. There is no such thing as perfect being exception to God himself. Because God knows that and he endures the pain from our sins, he has gone so far to show mercy and generosity for all the sinner and believers. God himself sacrifice his utterly most valuable in his life, Jesus Christ. To wash our sins which we are so incapable of living the glorious life that God wants for us. Out of his love and pure generosity he had sacrificed his one and only son JESUS Christ to clear all of our compiling sins, so that we may restore our righteousness and clear all the filth in this world so that we may live in clean life. Life which will no longer be filled with pain for which our Father will endure no more. By God sacrificing his son, he has set everything right.
Application:
I am so reluctant to recognize how precious I am as a daughter of God. I doubt and react in total selfishness for my personal gain in many situation. I am sure many of us do that as well. But for purpose of this journal, my personal experiences can be display of example which we as Christian turn our head many times to God's gracious gift. Everyday, I go on to remind myself, today is the day I shall not ____. But being tempted into the world and the desire to be part of something, we put our priorities of God in the bottom. What happen when we wake up God is set as our priority in the beginning of the day, however, by end of the day priorities has been turned around? Why does that happen? My sins are compiling as the days go, as the minute go, but I don't come to recognize that I am forgiven and my sins are cleared with the gracious gift from God himself to save me. Why can't I value myself as God values me? If I am forgiven and cleared with God's gift, I should gear to work and live my life righteous way which God has planned for me. The value of the gift cannot measured or be offset by anything, it is the most precious and generous gift anyone can ask for. But God gave without me asking, because he knows the pain I endure and suffer through this gift, he hopes for me to be pure and clean. I need to recognize my heart, dig deeper to my heart, and understand my heart. Need to forgive for me to move forward and accept all the splendid gift provided from God. For God give many chances to his sons and daughters, and he never gives up. It's up to me to grab that opportunity and make changes.
October: Month of Romans "All the World Guilty"
Scripture:
Romans 3:20
Because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.
Observation / Application:
We cannot assume we are safer than those who are non believer and Christians who go against Gods word. We all start at the same start line and it the ending that will vary. Our actions and mouth is filled with sins, once we open our mouth it comes with sins. If its small talks to white lies we give to one other. There is no in between with God. Its either sin or no sin. But has human scripture is our guide to some sanity check of our walk with God. Nothing else, the scripture is very clear, which means God is clear on how we should walk the walk and talk the talk. We are so consumed with our day in age that we forget and we put our self to deal with this world and live in the standard of the world. Which the world is full of sin, we as Christian boarded the same boat that is bound for sinking. We cannot presume just because I am doing this and that I am better off than others. Because God is clear that we start out as same sinners. There is no one who lives the perfect life. We as human are bound to take the wrong turn, in turn God has sacrificed his son to gear us always from the wrong turns and bring us back to start line. To give us another chance that we might learn and be guided through his law.
It is so easy to get consumed by this world. There are so much you hear daily that you try to avoid by you just can't filter. Regardless what you hear and judge, I have to remember that the path I choose based on the influence of media and peers, will not get me any closer to life in God's law. I can only try to gear away by soaking into God's world but there is more than that, my will-power of staying true to God's word is so bleak that, it cannot be done alone. It is through asking and talking with God daily that I can help myself in some little way. First starting off with excepting this world as it is, and that be consume by it but rather make a changes of it. Learning to filter my ears and eyes from this world. Regardless what the world try to say to me, don't participate but filter my hearing. Come to God and ask him to speak to me and learn to not be selective with God's word and what he say but listen to every since syllable to hear him and let him guide me in his law. When I do start to listen and hear God's law, I can at least evaluate myself of what are sins, sins which I am not aware of doing as it may be routine part of my day.
Romans 3:20
Because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.
Observation / Application:
We cannot assume we are safer than those who are non believer and Christians who go against Gods word. We all start at the same start line and it the ending that will vary. Our actions and mouth is filled with sins, once we open our mouth it comes with sins. If its small talks to white lies we give to one other. There is no in between with God. Its either sin or no sin. But has human scripture is our guide to some sanity check of our walk with God. Nothing else, the scripture is very clear, which means God is clear on how we should walk the walk and talk the talk. We are so consumed with our day in age that we forget and we put our self to deal with this world and live in the standard of the world. Which the world is full of sin, we as Christian boarded the same boat that is bound for sinking. We cannot presume just because I am doing this and that I am better off than others. Because God is clear that we start out as same sinners. There is no one who lives the perfect life. We as human are bound to take the wrong turn, in turn God has sacrificed his son to gear us always from the wrong turns and bring us back to start line. To give us another chance that we might learn and be guided through his law.
It is so easy to get consumed by this world. There are so much you hear daily that you try to avoid by you just can't filter. Regardless what you hear and judge, I have to remember that the path I choose based on the influence of media and peers, will not get me any closer to life in God's law. I can only try to gear away by soaking into God's world but there is more than that, my will-power of staying true to God's word is so bleak that, it cannot be done alone. It is through asking and talking with God daily that I can help myself in some little way. First starting off with excepting this world as it is, and that be consume by it but rather make a changes of it. Learning to filter my ears and eyes from this world. Regardless what the world try to say to me, don't participate but filter my hearing. Come to God and ask him to speak to me and learn to not be selective with God's word and what he say but listen to every since syllable to hear him and let him guide me in his law. When I do start to listen and hear God's law, I can at least evaluate myself of what are sins, sins which I am not aware of doing as it may be routine part of my day.
October: Month of Romans "The Jew Is Condemned by the Law"
Scripture:
Romans 2:29
But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter, and his praise is not from men, but from God.
Observation / Application:
Apostle Paul is speaking to the Jews and non Jews what it takes to be a honest and true believer of God. It is not by words we speak nor by how much we read. There are so many who can speak the words by quote by quote, but can use that gift against it. There are who preach to others yet, they themselves cannot live up to God's standards. Regardless how much we show to others of our belief, if we don't own it and recognize God for who he is and what he give, than it is just all imitation. Just like as we stereotype people with only the outer appearance, the view we see is just exterior which much deception. Just because one has art of cross on their body to express their emotion doesn't conclude that the individual can be a divine believer and disciple of God. Our eyes should not judge nor let it be tempted to look away from God. I use my family as best example, because I can relate and speak to it.
Everyone at my aunt's congregation have believe her stories and deception, due to her diligent work of putting this faithful believer exterior, when in fact, she has let the lust of possession consume her, and she is leading her life by the example of sins. Yet because she think she speaks the talk she is saved and she is forgiven, when her deeper and true self is worthless. Her spirit is not genuine, rather is deceitful and her actions to take God's word as part of her wrong doing is much more disgrace to God. As the verse quotes, you can define you are christian by word of mouth all we want, but our Christianity and belief comes from God's grace and ourselves surrendering to God in all, having faith in God regardless the circumstantial chaos and discomfort. You cannot define yourself by just a label but looking deeper into God's word and his commandment and following through his commandment and learning to surrender whole heartily.
This is sad circumstance my family is dysfunction, even more so, my aunts family is much more, looking from the glass outside, they might presume this all time christian family, but when you look deeper, it is filthy black with hatred, malice, and blaspheming. It is their deepest desire to get quick and rich verse listening and doing as God tell us to do. Yet they use the God's given gift to gain those deepest desire. From all this, my parents come to top I would have to say, despite all the abuse and criticism they receive from the society due to my aunt's family action, they come daily and lean onto God for his calling and his guidance through this chaos. They blame no one and they let God take control, despite that the dispute that has been going for past 3 years. They learn to let things be release from their heart and hand, and God to take control of it all, because at the end, their spirit cannot be diminished by the words that has spoiled around the community because they have God on their side and they look forward to listening and see what his miracle can overcome.
I need to let spirit take control, and let the spirit rescue me from the lost and guide me. Surrender to God in all has been a challenge, but in so many scriptures it is said, surrender all to God and he will bring peace within. If I want peace in my heart which will help me lead to fulfilling God's teaching than I need to look at my direct examples (parents) and participate in the blessing with them.
Romans 2:29
But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter, and his praise is not from men, but from God.
Observation / Application:
Apostle Paul is speaking to the Jews and non Jews what it takes to be a honest and true believer of God. It is not by words we speak nor by how much we read. There are so many who can speak the words by quote by quote, but can use that gift against it. There are who preach to others yet, they themselves cannot live up to God's standards. Regardless how much we show to others of our belief, if we don't own it and recognize God for who he is and what he give, than it is just all imitation. Just like as we stereotype people with only the outer appearance, the view we see is just exterior which much deception. Just because one has art of cross on their body to express their emotion doesn't conclude that the individual can be a divine believer and disciple of God. Our eyes should not judge nor let it be tempted to look away from God. I use my family as best example, because I can relate and speak to it.
Everyone at my aunt's congregation have believe her stories and deception, due to her diligent work of putting this faithful believer exterior, when in fact, she has let the lust of possession consume her, and she is leading her life by the example of sins. Yet because she think she speaks the talk she is saved and she is forgiven, when her deeper and true self is worthless. Her spirit is not genuine, rather is deceitful and her actions to take God's word as part of her wrong doing is much more disgrace to God. As the verse quotes, you can define you are christian by word of mouth all we want, but our Christianity and belief comes from God's grace and ourselves surrendering to God in all, having faith in God regardless the circumstantial chaos and discomfort. You cannot define yourself by just a label but looking deeper into God's word and his commandment and following through his commandment and learning to surrender whole heartily.
This is sad circumstance my family is dysfunction, even more so, my aunts family is much more, looking from the glass outside, they might presume this all time christian family, but when you look deeper, it is filthy black with hatred, malice, and blaspheming. It is their deepest desire to get quick and rich verse listening and doing as God tell us to do. Yet they use the God's given gift to gain those deepest desire. From all this, my parents come to top I would have to say, despite all the abuse and criticism they receive from the society due to my aunt's family action, they come daily and lean onto God for his calling and his guidance through this chaos. They blame no one and they let God take control, despite that the dispute that has been going for past 3 years. They learn to let things be release from their heart and hand, and God to take control of it all, because at the end, their spirit cannot be diminished by the words that has spoiled around the community because they have God on their side and they look forward to listening and see what his miracle can overcome.
I need to let spirit take control, and let the spirit rescue me from the lost and guide me. Surrender to God in all has been a challenge, but in so many scriptures it is said, surrender all to God and he will bring peace within. If I want peace in my heart which will help me lead to fulfilling God's teaching than I need to look at my direct examples (parents) and participate in the blessing with them.
October: Month of Roman "The Impartiality of God"
Scripture:
Roman 2: 5-6
"But because of your stubbornness and unreprentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God. who WILL RENDER TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS:"
Observation / Application:
Wow! How scary was that just reading through the passage, yet I couldn't stop re-reading the passage. It is so bluntly spoken. How can anyone try to twist this around? All I can say I am sacred out of but mind... just mind blowing passage and makes me think about back to years of wrong doing.
All I can say is that our God is fair God. This is exactly what my parents been saying and we been saying to each other to help us get through all along that battle. But the passage is just mortifying and so scary to even imagine where you would fall when the day of God judgement comes. I just think back to my actions and others, and can say my darkness and resistances can not be washed away but just telling God I am sorry and repeat the scenario all over again. God doesn't work that way. He knows monitors and weighs it all. I am grateful for the problems my parents are going through, because it is such a great lesson for us - our family in so many ways. The possession when taken over by the evil, actions of those and how God does not condone such. Even more when you speak such blaspheming in God name, the possibility of God's judgement on you. I wouldn't want to see that come anywhere near my family and me.
My aunts and her family is such a great example of people who are spiral downward for years. With filling their life with materialistic thing, they feel like they are invisible and because they are invisible they can criticize or judge my parents in trying to escape from their wrong doing. They think this is right because their head and heart is prioritized somewhere else, beside God. They don't see what this will ultimately come to when the final day of revelation come to them. It's such a pity that they are so blinded, they may know God sees it all, but they continue to speak and lie in God's name. Fellow sisters and brothers who judge on these words without experiencing the situation themselves. By siding with one another, you already take judgement of someone. You stereotype that individual.
But God is good, he is fair, he will judge you without any pity regardless. He will not be blind like other human being by your manipulation of any sort. He has witnessed it, he see the game you play. He will control his temper but his disappointment and discourage in our behaviors will transpire to his judgement.
To conclude, life is not worth judging, hurting and back stabbing other. I need to really think about that, when and if I am in a position to speak about others, think what I am about to say will impact the other person, how would I feel if someone was doing the exactly same thing.. The pain and betrayal you will feel. It is not worth the energy to do so, it is not just to do so. This is not what God ask to do so, rather show love unto other.
For my situation, all I can do is love my aunt's family, and pray for her salvation that at the end, God will come she will have revelation that her actions are God centric but rather influence of Satan.
Roman 2: 5-6
"But because of your stubbornness and unreprentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God. who WILL RENDER TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS:"
Observation / Application:
Wow! How scary was that just reading through the passage, yet I couldn't stop re-reading the passage. It is so bluntly spoken. How can anyone try to twist this around? All I can say I am sacred out of but mind... just mind blowing passage and makes me think about back to years of wrong doing.
All I can say is that our God is fair God. This is exactly what my parents been saying and we been saying to each other to help us get through all along that battle. But the passage is just mortifying and so scary to even imagine where you would fall when the day of God judgement comes. I just think back to my actions and others, and can say my darkness and resistances can not be washed away but just telling God I am sorry and repeat the scenario all over again. God doesn't work that way. He knows monitors and weighs it all. I am grateful for the problems my parents are going through, because it is such a great lesson for us - our family in so many ways. The possession when taken over by the evil, actions of those and how God does not condone such. Even more when you speak such blaspheming in God name, the possibility of God's judgement on you. I wouldn't want to see that come anywhere near my family and me.
My aunts and her family is such a great example of people who are spiral downward for years. With filling their life with materialistic thing, they feel like they are invisible and because they are invisible they can criticize or judge my parents in trying to escape from their wrong doing. They think this is right because their head and heart is prioritized somewhere else, beside God. They don't see what this will ultimately come to when the final day of revelation come to them. It's such a pity that they are so blinded, they may know God sees it all, but they continue to speak and lie in God's name. Fellow sisters and brothers who judge on these words without experiencing the situation themselves. By siding with one another, you already take judgement of someone. You stereotype that individual.
But God is good, he is fair, he will judge you without any pity regardless. He will not be blind like other human being by your manipulation of any sort. He has witnessed it, he see the game you play. He will control his temper but his disappointment and discourage in our behaviors will transpire to his judgement.
To conclude, life is not worth judging, hurting and back stabbing other. I need to really think about that, when and if I am in a position to speak about others, think what I am about to say will impact the other person, how would I feel if someone was doing the exactly same thing.. The pain and betrayal you will feel. It is not worth the energy to do so, it is not just to do so. This is not what God ask to do so, rather show love unto other.
For my situation, all I can do is love my aunt's family, and pray for her salvation that at the end, God will come she will have revelation that her actions are God centric but rather influence of Satan.
October: Month of Romans "Unbelief and Its Consequences"
Scripture:
Roman 1:25 - For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever, Amen.
Observation/Application:
What is it about lust of possession that drives most people into abandoning our honest God. Why is that we feel satisfaction when we gather more possession. Do we not know that possessions simply are materialistic things in life, and regardless how much money you might have with you or in the bank, you cannot take that glory with you when you die. But why is it so hard for so many to see pass that. Why do we lie to ourselves and God and start to worship and honor such a possession over our faithful God.
I experience lost souls and people who lie to themselves and start to worship factious things directly in my family and I hear about it in media. This world has come to such recession and deprivation that people will do anything to get more.
Doesn't God ensure us that through him we will find wealth and wealth will be given to us. I can't say that I can easily give up all my possession to find that ultimate wealth that God will give us. I too become very realistic when it come to that, I wonder at times, if I ever get a calling to mission, God tells me to sell all possession and leave, and trust that he will provide, will I have enough courage to do so, probably not now. However, I don't worship money and other factious figures. Unlike my aunt, uncle and their daughter who are so blindsided by this factious figure “money” that they have gone so far as lying to entire congregation to keep themselves innocent, playing the victim game. They have lied flat out in the house of God. I am unsure what are the rewards for doing so? I feel sympathy and pain to watch and hear them consistently rolling their brains to continue writing this fiction story. But through this my parents have been such an example to me, I really need to be able to apply my heart like there, though they struggle tremendously they are grateful for little things, which are much bigger things to them. To them money and materialistic wealth is temporary relieve, it’s something that God gives today but can disappear into thin air tomorrow. They find deepest in their heart to be content and satisfied with their life, they always say God will reveal all the truth. They are grateful for health, family, being able to sleep in a cozy bed, and having roof over their head. We take these gifts from God for granted. We are such an annoying and greedy babies who is never satisfied and always wanting more and more, and when we get blessing from God we take that and switch around to make it circumstantial effort of my own. Continue to wanting more, and ultimately forget who the giver from the start was. I need to have more faith in God, for he is blessing my life and family, and I need to continue to see that and not gear towards other things that are temptation lust for my eyes, I know I will not find total satisfaction in those circumstances or situation, I will be more of lost soul than I already am. I need to just look straight and look at the ultimate prize God has laid at the finish line and work toward that prize only.
Daily my aunt, uncle and their daughter gives me a reasons and an example which is blessing from God, how my life will be geared if I didn't have God. My life was filled with lies. I know God will show me slowly to let go of the lust of possession and lead and guide me towards life with our Creator. Being a servant of our Creator and finding that total blessing and peace he has for us. I fear for what is to come for aunt, uncle and daughter. They don't see it now but I hope soon or later, they will come to realization, and realize our Creator and such a blessing and wealth he can fill their heart.
Roman 1:25 - For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever, Amen.
Observation/Application:
What is it about lust of possession that drives most people into abandoning our honest God. Why is that we feel satisfaction when we gather more possession. Do we not know that possessions simply are materialistic things in life, and regardless how much money you might have with you or in the bank, you cannot take that glory with you when you die. But why is it so hard for so many to see pass that. Why do we lie to ourselves and God and start to worship and honor such a possession over our faithful God.
I experience lost souls and people who lie to themselves and start to worship factious things directly in my family and I hear about it in media. This world has come to such recession and deprivation that people will do anything to get more.
Doesn't God ensure us that through him we will find wealth and wealth will be given to us. I can't say that I can easily give up all my possession to find that ultimate wealth that God will give us. I too become very realistic when it come to that, I wonder at times, if I ever get a calling to mission, God tells me to sell all possession and leave, and trust that he will provide, will I have enough courage to do so, probably not now. However, I don't worship money and other factious figures. Unlike my aunt, uncle and their daughter who are so blindsided by this factious figure “money” that they have gone so far as lying to entire congregation to keep themselves innocent, playing the victim game. They have lied flat out in the house of God. I am unsure what are the rewards for doing so? I feel sympathy and pain to watch and hear them consistently rolling their brains to continue writing this fiction story. But through this my parents have been such an example to me, I really need to be able to apply my heart like there, though they struggle tremendously they are grateful for little things, which are much bigger things to them. To them money and materialistic wealth is temporary relieve, it’s something that God gives today but can disappear into thin air tomorrow. They find deepest in their heart to be content and satisfied with their life, they always say God will reveal all the truth. They are grateful for health, family, being able to sleep in a cozy bed, and having roof over their head. We take these gifts from God for granted. We are such an annoying and greedy babies who is never satisfied and always wanting more and more, and when we get blessing from God we take that and switch around to make it circumstantial effort of my own. Continue to wanting more, and ultimately forget who the giver from the start was. I need to have more faith in God, for he is blessing my life and family, and I need to continue to see that and not gear towards other things that are temptation lust for my eyes, I know I will not find total satisfaction in those circumstances or situation, I will be more of lost soul than I already am. I need to just look straight and look at the ultimate prize God has laid at the finish line and work toward that prize only.
Daily my aunt, uncle and their daughter gives me a reasons and an example which is blessing from God, how my life will be geared if I didn't have God. My life was filled with lies. I know God will show me slowly to let go of the lust of possession and lead and guide me towards life with our Creator. Being a servant of our Creator and finding that total blessing and peace he has for us. I fear for what is to come for aunt, uncle and daughter. They don't see it now but I hope soon or later, they will come to realization, and realize our Creator and such a blessing and wealth he can fill their heart.
October: Month of Romans "The Gospel Exalted"
Scripture:
Romans 1: 17 - For in it the righteousness of GOD is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, "BUT THE RIGTHEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH."
Observation/Application:
Through discussion in our small group and meditation of Sunday service I wonder how often I look back to the word. In order for anyone including me, to call ourselves Christian shouldn't we look and read the word. Find the guidance of how to be Christian and live by the standards written, spoken and laid out to us by GOD himself. As the word is the God's law and God's way of providing with infinite examples of his mercy and faith. If our pattern is such short term - we are assured only on "Sunday" and any other days when and if we gather with other brothers and sister how can we call ourselves simply faithful Christian, and that we are walking closer towards his vision for us? We are deprived of his vision and his plan for us if we don't come back to his word, regardless how hard we want to believe it we are lost soul, rather than walking and defining our destiny which God has for us. We are kidding ourselves if we think so.
It is so true, last year when I went back to the word as often as possible, I felt that unknown peace and mercy upon me. I knew I was at ease and regardless what the circumstance brought to me, so many barriers I just knew that if I reached for the words, I find my heart to calm, find the place of righteousness. But as I approached 2012, this was the year I was tempted by the Satan himself, with so much more than I would have ever imagined. First comes illness, second comes consistent battle with family - greed of over money, last but not least, new work environment and testing my ability and confidence. In this I had doubts and I was angered and I didn't see how this could happen when I was so good about reading and reaching out to his words. Why did God make all this happen when I was trying to be like what he wanted me to be by reaching to his word? It just boiled down to this for me, regardless how much I kept telling myself that I am more Christian like because I am reading and mediating, my deepest root of it all was not there as my mind was telling. I was reluctant to forgive those and be by gones be by gones. I was too afraid to give generously of my love, sharing my faith as God has said. Regardless how much I read the words, it was not registering in my deepest root of it all because I didn't allow it to be. Year 2012 has been a testimony for me to really fight the battles.
This verse is such a great reminder that, God provided us more than we can manage; he gave so many love stories and examples of failure and success in this book. Along the way he gathered a great community of fellow Christian brothers and sisters, who struggle with our faith daily, but we have each other to rely on, so that we can come together as a body to conform and be transformed. So that we can be accountable to be righteous person who can entrust all to God. Not just partially, but fully and totally trust in God. Be selfless to God, for God will show and God will provide and God will be just. I lack so much in fully and totally surrendering to God, this will be continuous struggle but there is so much reminders as to why and how I can totally surrender. I need to take a step back from my life and reset my priorities, as of today my priorities are so dysfunctional. I am so afraid of what tomorrow will bring, but that should be the bliss feeling when I surrender and have total faith in God alone. That is the day, when I can truly and honest feel tiny bit faithful servant of God. Stop being selective of my life, what to take control of and what God to take control of. Let God take control of all and everything; be "all in" for God. God is not selective he will reveal the goods and the bad, I shall have more faith that God will be my front man to fight the battles, and bring this battle to victory. He will open my eyes and reveal so much more that is when I transform to live my lives in his faithfulness and his righteous way. He want this for me so much, I take this opportunity for granted and forget that God sacrifice his precious son to be nail on a cross and be humiliated. So how bad can it be to take a leap of faith and trust in the Lord who gave us such a incredible gift of all?
Romans 1: 17 - For in it the righteousness of GOD is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, "BUT THE RIGTHEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH."
Observation/Application:
Through discussion in our small group and meditation of Sunday service I wonder how often I look back to the word. In order for anyone including me, to call ourselves Christian shouldn't we look and read the word. Find the guidance of how to be Christian and live by the standards written, spoken and laid out to us by GOD himself. As the word is the God's law and God's way of providing with infinite examples of his mercy and faith. If our pattern is such short term - we are assured only on "Sunday" and any other days when and if we gather with other brothers and sister how can we call ourselves simply faithful Christian, and that we are walking closer towards his vision for us? We are deprived of his vision and his plan for us if we don't come back to his word, regardless how hard we want to believe it we are lost soul, rather than walking and defining our destiny which God has for us. We are kidding ourselves if we think so.
It is so true, last year when I went back to the word as often as possible, I felt that unknown peace and mercy upon me. I knew I was at ease and regardless what the circumstance brought to me, so many barriers I just knew that if I reached for the words, I find my heart to calm, find the place of righteousness. But as I approached 2012, this was the year I was tempted by the Satan himself, with so much more than I would have ever imagined. First comes illness, second comes consistent battle with family - greed of over money, last but not least, new work environment and testing my ability and confidence. In this I had doubts and I was angered and I didn't see how this could happen when I was so good about reading and reaching out to his words. Why did God make all this happen when I was trying to be like what he wanted me to be by reaching to his word? It just boiled down to this for me, regardless how much I kept telling myself that I am more Christian like because I am reading and mediating, my deepest root of it all was not there as my mind was telling. I was reluctant to forgive those and be by gones be by gones. I was too afraid to give generously of my love, sharing my faith as God has said. Regardless how much I read the words, it was not registering in my deepest root of it all because I didn't allow it to be. Year 2012 has been a testimony for me to really fight the battles.
This verse is such a great reminder that, God provided us more than we can manage; he gave so many love stories and examples of failure and success in this book. Along the way he gathered a great community of fellow Christian brothers and sisters, who struggle with our faith daily, but we have each other to rely on, so that we can come together as a body to conform and be transformed. So that we can be accountable to be righteous person who can entrust all to God. Not just partially, but fully and totally trust in God. Be selfless to God, for God will show and God will provide and God will be just. I lack so much in fully and totally surrendering to God, this will be continuous struggle but there is so much reminders as to why and how I can totally surrender. I need to take a step back from my life and reset my priorities, as of today my priorities are so dysfunctional. I am so afraid of what tomorrow will bring, but that should be the bliss feeling when I surrender and have total faith in God alone. That is the day, when I can truly and honest feel tiny bit faithful servant of God. Stop being selective of my life, what to take control of and what God to take control of. Let God take control of all and everything; be "all in" for God. God is not selective he will reveal the goods and the bad, I shall have more faith that God will be my front man to fight the battles, and bring this battle to victory. He will open my eyes and reveal so much more that is when I transform to live my lives in his faithfulness and his righteous way. He want this for me so much, I take this opportunity for granted and forget that God sacrifice his precious son to be nail on a cross and be humiliated. So how bad can it be to take a leap of faith and trust in the Lord who gave us such a incredible gift of all?
6/17/2012
Scripture: Colossians 2:5 – For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ.
Observation / Application: As human being we acknowledge physical things that we can see, touch and hear. Many of us base our beliefs in scientifically proven theologies. But LORD speaks to us that even though we can’t see him, touch him, and hear him physically he is ALWAYS with us. We need to trust in him and speak to him through prayer, hear him through his words. Yet we witness and hear so many miracles we cannot explain but to say it is work of God. How do we explain the natural beauties of Yosemite Park, there are none but that it is creation of God? Just as we are creation of God, daughters and sons of God, we can manage to grow and be a responsible Christ like adult without God’s physical presences. God has given the foundation and continue to water our roots, and it is an individuals to take the leap of leadership to listen and take on the journey of life or to put on a ear phone and ignore the calling. For God will find joy and rejoice through our disciplines and continuous effort to sit at the foot of God to listen to his next wisdom and love story.
I have to admit, I need things to be proven or shown for me to take any faith or believe. For the past few months that has been the case. Though I tried to enforce myself to believe that in God we trust all things will be answered, I wondered at times, with family feud that has been going on for past 3 years and others how can I entrust in God when I see absences of actions to give me some glimpse of hope. But it struck me recently that, maybe the smallest doubt in me was preventing me to see the wonders and miracles God has already answered. He is present at all times, but I was too blind to recognize, rather I detour through different roads to find answers. Learning to surrender to him, learning to let God take control of my driver seat of my car is struggle and yet a blessing. It is struggle for me to let lose and let someone else take control when so many circumstances are such a chaos. But when I did and continue to do, I feel this peace and sense of security that all the pieces of puzzles will fall in the right place. I recognize with my health, and my parents. My aunts/uncles are totally blinded by money, and they finally have dug deeper to their grave, to make long story short, my parents have found who seems to be great partnership of lawyers, who has taken consideration of their financial distress and will work around to help them get to bottom of this. After 3 years praying and dealing with their slandering from two aunts and their children, them playing the innocent and victim game is coming to near end, I see that God is providing guidance in my parent’s journey and he is taking control of writing the end to this chapter.
Prayer: Father, Abba you are the father who is the utmost gracious and loving. Though you gave me a Father in this earth, he was not an example and was not much part of my life. But you have continually been maturing me and through so much of ups and downs in my life you have patiently tug me to the right directions. Thank you for your guidance, and thank you for believing me more than I believe in myself. Your mercy is so great and your love is unconditional and unexplainable. Definitely the absence of your body does not lack your love for me and your forgiveness. You have provided for my family in so many ways, you have shield and protected our family from so much damage and pain. Father God, continue to work my parents, siblings and my heart. Continue to feed and nature our roots that we learn to forgive and share our love for the ones who have done harm. Father help us to walk in a straight path, the path you have mapped out for us. Let our hearts not wonder but let us be teachable and coachable to your teaching and continue to hear from you. I thank you and Father Abba, thank you for showing me how to love and love myself. In your holy name Amen.
6/9/2012 - Awake and Inherit
Scripture: For the LORD will not abandon His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance (Psalm 94:14) - NASB. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:13, 14) - NASB
Observation & Application: For the past few months it has been a challenge for myself mentality, emotional and spiritually. With all the unwanted circumstances and pain surrounding me I wonder in the darkness asking “why?” “Why is this happening to me for what reasons?” This was a dark phase in time when it was dark and I felt like walking zombie in this utopia world where everything was clouded by darkness. I had this imitation of smile and thought of everything was okay, when my demure has definitely been darkened as day passed. I was irritable, I lied to myself, and I punished myself.
During this tribulation, I shared with my BUILD ladies and few friends and family. I am sure that even though I was walking through this dark tunnel even then GOD had showered me with his people to pray and because of the prayers there was a glimpse of light at the end. It was visible, I can so closely reach it feel the sunshine, but it seem so far to reach. It’s just like the verses for my LJ, I know through it all though I had reach rock bottom, yet GOD had never forgotten me, or forsaken me. He did not abandon rather wanted me to wake up from this fictitious utopia world and come to the light, the light was so near and so close of approximately of reach. I didn’t see that or recognize that. I was feeling too sorry for myself with such crazy words like “CANCER” & “FAMILY FEUD” I didn’t want to wake up to face it.
God was ready, he gently and patiently woke me and he showered his love onto me and showed what I can inherit by surrendering onto him. Lift the weight off my shoulder, and that black cloud that was following me, shadowing me was slowly brightening. It was obvious that God love me more then I loved myself, he was and will be there waiting patiently behind my ordeals waiting for me to lift that darkness and reach out to me. That was all he was waiting, gently nudging me to recognize he is there and waiting and will come to carry me when I am too tired to walk. Take me up his arms and walk me near to the light.
This few months has been struggle and to learn to elevate the weights off my shoulder. Truly surrender to God all the way. With my parent’s struggle with her siblings, sibling who are so blinded by greed and wealth that they have lost their path along the journey to God’s kingdom. This definitely has impacted my parents and I along the path, but as the verse say, in time God will bring the truth and then they cannot hide no more. There will be no cloak or white out to redo their mistakes. They cannot brush all their deceits under the rug in hopes of God will turn his cheek and forget.
That is the lesson I have slowly gain and learned through this journey which I started and journey I still continue on with, is that nothing is more glorious then earning the glory of God’s love and grace. No matter how much money or friends you gain it is no comparison to the GOD’s ultimate gift. Drink some coffee and let GOD take control, taking control of driver’s wheel and help me to reach that final destination in a fashionable manner with GOD as my navigational system.
Prayer: Father, magnificent Abba, I praise you for your unconditional love and guidance, despite my resentment and path to darkness, you have never abandon me, but surround me with your people to have hopes of reaching close to that glimpse of light you shine during me darkness. Father God, I pray and thank you for your unconditional blessing upon me and my family. Through such painful, sibling feud, where money has consumed over them, you still help my parent and my family to stay focused, and left you take control, and give thanks. There are so many in this economy that has no choice but to go to the street, but you have provided roof over their shoulder and food to nurture their body during this hardship. Continue to shower them with guidance and your plan of action in this feud. As you are ultimate provider, and all the gifts and blessing comes from you and not made by man. Father God help me to be coachable and teachable that I may continue the journey and surrender to you, love myself as you have love me and forgiven me. Father I ask for your boost of energy to wake and walk to walk and talk the talk you have plan for me. Father God you are truly the ultimate love and grace, I pray and thank you for so much that I cannot accomplish if it wasn’t for you. Thank you million and in your holy and gracious name.
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